


You'll Be Okay

by robarazzi



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Jade West, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Implied mental illness, Implied/Referenced Self Harm, Jade is a Good Friend, Mild Internalized Homophobia, So much angst, background Beck Oliver/Jade West, because those two should have been good friends FIGHT ME, gay robbie shapiro, its there but its not the main focus of the fic, jade and robbie friendship, jade shows her soft side
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21983659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robarazzi/pseuds/robarazzi
Summary: “What brings you to the RV at this hour?” Jade asked.“I was kinda hoping Beck would be here.” Robbie said, playing with his headphones.“Well, he’s not.” Jade said.OrRobbie finds support in an unlikely place.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 97





	You'll Be Okay

Robbie had stopped carrying Rex around the beginning of senior year. At first, no one really noticed. There had been times in the past where he’d forget the puppet at home, or neglect it for days on end. But as the days and weeks and months dragged on, it became obvious he was done. 

“What happened to Rex?” Cat asked one day at lunch.

The gang had been sitting around their table at the Asphalt Cafe. Andre and Tori had been working on a song together while Cat colored in a coloring book Jade had gotten her recently. Beck and Jade walked up hand in hand and sat down at the table.

“I don’t know, I guess I just outgrew him.” Robbie responded, thoughts elsewhere.

“Outgrew who?” Jade asked, adjusting her legs so they were draped over Beck’s lap. 

“Rex.” Robbie responded.

“That part of my life - it’s gone I guess.”

“And thank God for that.” Jade said. 

Robbie let out a half hearted laugh. Jade raised an eyebrow at him. Something was clearly up.

Lunch went on, and with it, the usual conversations. Tori’s new man of the week, classes, and more. But Robbie found himself not being able to focus on anything. 

When the bell rang signifying the end of lunch, the gang got up to head to Sikowitz’s class. Andre was the first to get up, picking up his keyboard and patting Cat on the back to tell her to put away her markers. 

“C’mon Little Red, time for class.” He said, helping her put away her things. 

Tori, Andre, and Cat walked off to Sikowitz’s class, leaving Beck, Jade, and Robbie back at the table. 

Beck and Jade got up, and began to walk off, Becks arm draped around Jade’s waist.

“You coming Rob?” Asked Beck.

“Yeah, I’m just - give me a second.” Robbie responded tentatively.

“Ok, what’s going on - for real?” Jade asked, uncharacteristically concerned about the boy.

“Is this about Rex?” Beck added.

“Did he die - again?”

“No - no it’s not about Rex - not really.” Robbie said.

“Ok man.” Beck said

“Well, if you need us…” He finished, trailing.

“Yeah, I know where to find you.” Robbie said, getting up from his seat and heading into class.

* * *

Sikowitz’s class was a blur. Robbie couldn’t focus on anything. Much like at lunch, his thoughts were elsewhere. And improv? Well that was the last thing on his mind. The only acting he was planning on doing today was acting like he was ok. That was until -

“Robbie, Beck, Jade and Cat! You four, get up here!” Sikowitz said, interrupting Robbie’s semi peace.

Beck and Jade walked up onto the stage, closely followed by Cat. Robbie sighed and got up out of his chair to follow his friends onto the stage. 

“Ok, so in this scene, you - Robbie, have a secret you're attempting to keep from Beck, Jade, and Cat - and you three are trying to get it out of him! Ready? Action!”

Robbie shuddered. Sometimes Sikowitz could be _so_ on the nose.

“Mr. Sikowitz, I don’t really feel comfortable doing this scene because -“ Robbie was cut off.

“Nonsense child, you're an actor!” Sikowitz replied, cutting him off.

“You will do the scene.” Sikowitz finished.

“Fine.” Robbie said begrudgingly.

“Come on Robbie! We’re your friends, you can tell us anything.” Cat started the scene.

Robbie paused for a minute, mouth open as if he were about to speak. Tears began to prick at the corner of his eyes.

“Mr. Sikowitz I _really_ can’t to this.” He said weakly.

“Very well.” Sikowitz responded.

“You may sit down.”

As Robbie left the stage, he could feel everyones eyes on him. Especially the eyes of his friends. He knew they had to have heard the rumors by now - the whispers in the hallway about him. About his sexuality. He wondered why they hadn’t dropped him by now. The names he had been called echoed in his mind as he took a seat in the back of the class and watched Cat, Beck, and Jade do finish the scene without him. Andre turned around in his seat to face Robbie.

“You ok man?” He whispered.

Robbie gave a weak smile and thumbs up. 

He wasn’t sure if he was ever going to be ok again. 

* * *

It was dark now, well past when school got out, and Robbie was sitting on his twin sized bed, starring at the wall in the dark.

Beck had texted him after class - so had Cat, asking if he was ok. He had given them brief variations of “I’m fine, no need to worry about me!” But that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

He was so far from ok. 

The rumors, of course, had been true. The whispers around the halls about the boys sexuality - well, they were right. And Robbie hated it. He hated that they were right, he hated that everyone was talking about it and most importantly, he hated that maybe, they knew before he did.

Of course, Robbie had always kind of known. Ever since he was younger, he remembers never getting crushes on the girls at school. Always craving male attention. When he had gotten to high school he asked out girls sure - because that’s what you were supposed to do, he thought. And when he had wrote and preformed that song for Cat - he meant it. From the bottom of his heart he loved Cat, but his feelings were confused. He was only doing what he knew to be right. 

It’s not that he was worried about being disowned, his parents couldn’t give less of a shit about him now, him being gay wouldn’t change that. He wasn’t even really worried about the backlash he’d face at school - he was already the weird kid, him coming out wouldn’t make it better or worse.What he was worried about was his friends - what they would think. They had given no indication of being homophobic in any way shape or form, sure. But he felt like maybe, just maybe, this would be the final straw for them. 

He starred at the small pocket knife on his nightstand. He hadn’t used it in weeks, but he was itching to after today. 

_It wouldbe so easy_ He thought.

_Ok_ he thought _Get it together. I’m gay. I’m fucking gay. This isn’t the end of the world._

He took a shaky breath.

_But_ _now what._

* * *

He needed to get out of the house. Away from that room, away from that knife. He hadn’t meant to end up at Beck’s place when he started on his aimless walk through the town. It just sort of happened. He sighed as he kicked at a rock on the sidewalk outside Beck’s house. He could see the lights on inside Beck’s RV. Beck was home. 

_This is stupid_ He thought _Showing up at Beck’s unannounced at 9:30 pm on a Thursday? Fucking ridiculous. And what for? To cry to him about the fact that you’re gay? Whats he gonna do?_

Robbie contemplated his options. He could walk away, head home and be just as miserable as he was before. Or he could walk up to Beck’s RV, knock on the door, and get this over with. 

He chose the latter.

Robbie shakily approached the RV, reached out a hand, and knocked three times on the door. He heard someone shuffling around inside, and waited for Beck to open the door. 

What he got instead was a very confused looking Jade West.

“Robbie?” She asked, confused

“Jade?” Robbie asked, equally as confused. 

“What are you doing here?” Jade asked, suspicion in her voice.

“I could ask the same to you.” Robbie said back, suddenly defensive.

“I kind of…live here now?” Jade responded, almost embarrassed.

“Oh.” Was all Robbie could say.

The two were silent a moment. Robbie cleared his throat.

“Uh, where’s Beck?” He asked

“He’s with Andre.” Jade said, tugging at the bottom of her - Beck’s - shirt.

Sadness flashed on Robbies face. The guys were hanging out _without him._

“They’re working on a history project or something.” Jade quickly added, noticing Robbie’s expression.

“Not just hanging out for fun.” 

“Ok.” Robbie said.

“Did you wanna come in?” Jade asked, almost apprehensively.

“I’ll just go.” Robbie said, turning around to leave.

“Robbie you’re obviously here for a reason.” Jade said.

“Just come in.”

Robbie walked up the steps of the RV. Jade sat down on the bed, and Robbie took the couch. The two sat there a moment in awkward silence. 

“So…” Jade began.

“What brings you to the RV at this hour?” Jade asked.

“I was kinda hoping Beck would be here.” Robbie said, playing with his headphones.

“Well, he’s not.” Jade said.

The two were silent again. 

“Listen, Robbie…” Jade began.

“Is this about what happened in Sikowitz’s class? Because we all agreed it was fucked up of him to make you keep doing the scene when you were obviously uncom-“

“Jade I’m gay.” Robbie blurted out. 

Jade was silent.

“Yeah?” She asked after a moment

“Yeah.” Robbie responded. 

“I’m really, really gay.” He finished.

Tears began to sting at the corners of his eyes.

_I am so not crying in front of Jade_ Robbie thought. 

But it was too late. Tears began to roll down his cheeks. He took off his glasses and wiped them away.

“Robbie…” Jade began.

“What?” Robbie asked.

“Are you gonna make fun of me too?” He finished

“No.” Jade said sincerely. 

“Come here.” She said, patting the bed next to her

Robbie shakily got up and sat back down next to Jade.

“Who else knows?” Jade asked.

“Apparently the entire school.” Robbie said, continuing to cry.

“Who else _seriously_ knows.” Jade corrected herself.

“Just you.” Robbie sniffled.

“I’m really glad you told me.” Jade said.

“Even if it wasn’t me you meant to tell.”

Robbie took off his glasses and hid his face in his hands. Had he really just come out to Jade West? Of all people?

Jade hesitated, then put her arm around his shoulder.

_Was this really happening_ he thought.

The two were silent a moment, the only sound was the occasional sniffle from Robbie.

Then Jade spoke.

“I’m - I’m not straight either.” She said, almost in a whisper.

Robbie was stunned.

“What?” He managed.

“You heard me.” She said, still keeping her arm around his shoulder.

“But Beck-“ Robbie started.

“I’m bisexual - and he knows.” She finished.

“I guess I just never thought-“ Robbie began.

“I shut all the rumors down immediately - which is pretty easy to do when you’ve been dating the same guy for basically all of high school.” Jade said

“And I keep it pretty under wraps.” She added.

“Are you ashamed of it?” Robbie asked.

“God no.” Jade said.

“I just don’t think it's anyones business.” She finished 

“Are _you_ ashamed?” Jade asked after a moment.

“I don’t know what to think.” Robbie said 

“Part of me thinks I don’t want anyone to know - but it seems like it’s too late for that.” He finished 

“You can tell everyone or you can tell no one, it’s up to you.” Jade said.

“I just - how will our friends react?” Robbie said with despair.

“They’ll still love you Robbie.” Jade said.

“Weird as you are.” She joked.

Robbie smiled weakly.

“And for the record.” Jade said.

“I only teased you because of that damn puppet, not because I thought you were gay.” She finished.

“You shouldn’t have teased me at all.” Robbie said, defending himself.

“I know.” Jade said.

“I guess I was just insecure.” 

“You? Insecure?” Robbie asked, shocked.

Jade sighed.

“Theres a lot you don’t know about me Rob.” Jade said.

“Try me.” Robbie said, feeling confident. 

“Well for starters, I moved in with Beck over the summer when my dad kicked me out after I turned 18” Jade said.

“I’m sorry.” Robbie said.

“Don’t be, the guys a dick. I like it much better here anyways.” Jade said, trying to sound unbothered by it all.

“Does your dad know - about your sexuality?” Robbie asked.

“God no.” Jade laughed.

“Only you, Beck, and Cat know.”

“How long have you known?” Robbie asked.

“Since middle school.” Jade responded.

“What about you?” She asked.

“I guess I’ve always kind of had this gut feeling.” Robbie said.

“I get that.” Jade said.

“And that whole crush on Cat thing?” Jade asked.

“I don’t know.” Robbie said sadly.

“I love her, she’s one of the best people I know, but I think I mistook platonic feelings for romantic ones.” He finished 

“I get that.” Jade said.

“Oh fuck, how’s Cat gonna react?” Robbie spoke suddenly.

“I _kissed_ her.”

“She’ll be ok.” Jade said reassuringly.

“She’ll understand.”

“You think so?” Robbie asked.

“I know so.” Jade said.

“And Robbie?” She said.

“You’ll be ok too.” 

“How can you know that.” Robbie said, defeated.

“When have I ever been wrong?” Jade asked

Robbie smiled weakly. 

“Thanks Jade.” He said.

“What else don’tI know about the all powerful Jade West?” Robbie asked

“That I consider you a friend.” Jade said sincerely.

“A really good friend, who I can count on. And trust.”

Robbie was stunned.

“Really?” He asked

“Yes really, now tell anyone I’ll break your arm.” Jade said with a smile.

The two sat there a while, in now not - so - awkward silence. 

“I should get going.” Robbie said after a while.

“It’s 10 pm. You shouldn’t be walking home alone so late.” Jade said.

“You should just stay the night here - Beck’ll be back soon, and he won’t mind.” She offered.

“Are you sure?” Robbie asked hesitantly.

“I’m sure. Us gays have to stick together, right?” Jade joked.

“You can take the couch.” 

Robbie smiled, because for once, he wasn’t alone. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second Robbie-centric fic, and I gotta say I'm kind of loving it. Robbie to me is such an interesting character, and one who doesn't often get explored in fanfictions (or in canon for that matter). So I again, took it into my own hands to shed some light on Robbie Shapiro and his character. Also, as a lesbian, I've just always read Robbie as gay and Jade as bi, so those are my own personal headcanons I guess? Anyways I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please comment/leave kudos if you liked it!
> 
> -Lily <3


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